All I Want is You: musings on authenticity & value


So I’m listening to an audio for my Life Coach Training, when a light goes on inside me.

I have a realisation:

I do not need to have my shit perfectly together, nor keep it that way, to be a good, credible, and trustworthy teacher/coach/parent.

As long as… and here’s the catch… and it’s a really important one… as long as I’m actually doing the deep, honest and beautiful work of questioning my thoughts, excavating old beliefs, and allowing the accompanying emotions to flow freely through my body, could it even be that maybe,
just maybe, the degree to which I’m willing to fall apart, as regularly as needed, is exactly what makes me a good, credible and trustworthy teacher/coach/parent in the first place.

Holy shit I just turned this thing on its head. It’s almost the direct opposite of what our culture leads us to believe.

It’s the new feminine paradigm in a nutshell.

(Feminine in this case being less about gender, and more about the kind of operating system you’re running).

The old days of teachers on a pedestal, holier than thou, have proven ineffective at least, dangerous at worst, and so the peeps are taking their power back.


These are what we crave. These are what touch us, rouse us, and strengthen our resolve to keep honing these qualities in ourselves.

A side note here though: Deciding to do a Facebook ‘live’ or any other kind of public rant whilst deep in the grip of your emotional shiz is not the kind of transparency that I’m talking about. I see it often and it makes me feel icky, like vulnerability misunderstood. It’s a very fine line.

When you’re feeling it… like really feeling it… when the emotions are strong, then by all means let it flow. You must. Sit in that fire and do not budge until it melts away all that is false. But it’s YOUR attention you really need in that moment, not mine.

So go deep. Expose those fraudsters hiding out in your mind & heart. And then yes please get your arse back up online if that’s what you’re called to do, and share with us the fruits of your experience. Shout your newfound wisdom from the rooftops. We need to hear it. It unites us. It reminds us that we’re not alone.

As a teacher, artist, coach, parent, indeed, as a human being, I think the most important thing we can bring to our work is honesty, and an ongoing commitment to our own growth, in whatever form that takes. Because we can only ever really share with others, or hear in others, that which we’ve seen inside ourselves.

Experience speaks, it has energy behind it, even if the getting of that experience was a messy, muddy, snotty process. All the more so in fact.

And so this is freeing huh? We do not need to be perfect to be of value.

I like that so much I’m going to say it again, in bold this time:


We just need to be real.

And in the words of one of my dear friends and teachers, to live the truth that we understand.

The wisdom, clear seeing, fierceness, and deep trust that our teachers possess, are as readily available to us. Unearthed over time with patience and devotion, they are born of our willingness to expose ourselves to life, be available to change, answerable to ourselves above all, and to sit, repeatedly, in the fire of our own discomfort until the burning gives way to peace.

Om Namo Narayani

authenticity-keep-it-real“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” 

~ Brene Brown