When sleeping women wake, mountains move…


the motherI’ve been thinking a lot lately about the Maiden, Mother, Crone thing, in particular the transition from Maiden to Mother.

What causes the shift? And how is it measured? Cos I can straight away think of some dear female friends who feel like mothers, who don’t actually have any children. And I know many a 40+ maiden.

So what causes the shift, besides age & offspring? What changes a woman from MAIDEN to MOTHER & marks her arrival there?

From what I can see it’s a deep & lasting change of tack, a re-orientation from self to other-centredness, over a sustained period of time.

And that’s not to say that as mothers we don’t take care of ourselves. Of course we do! But we care for ourselves because we see so very clearly that when we do, we can be so much more for others. When our cups overflow we inevitably nourish the soil of wherever we choose to stand.

EVERYBODY benefits from our authentic happiness!

Because as mothers we are the CENTRE, of our families, or businesses, charities or schools. People are depending on us.

Becoming THE MOTHER, I believe, is about finding yourself RESPONSIBLE. Reeeaaalllly responsible… more than you’d like to be sometimes, for something or someone beyond yourself.

Your child, your pet/s, your long-term committed relationship, your business, your art, or your cause.

Something that you must tend to each & every day, and that would struggle to survive without your presence & care.

Something that you must consider first, before making any other decision about what you do with your time & energy.

Something for which you must at times sacrifice your own desires.

Something that asks you to GROW, to stretch further & wider than ever before, and in so doing touch places and spaces and worlds within and without that you’d never dreamed of doing before. That you never imagined possible. Or simply never knew existed.

Becoming a mother later in life, I had what might be called an extended maidenhood.

I gave it my all.

I had a brown Holden Kingswood station wagon with aboriginal mural painted down the sides & a dream catcher hanging from the rearview mirror. A couple of Hiace vans decked out with bed & cooker. A good ten years with no fixed address.

I traveled.
I partied.
I studied.
I cleansed.
I had loads of solitary time.
A rich & full spiritual life.
Beautiful friends all over the world.
I loved my work.

So what was missing?

The word that comes is ACCOUNTABILITY.

I needed someone for whom to dig a bit deeper. I needed someone for whom to grow, and share. And share, and grow. (And no that’s not a typo, it just really feels worth repeating).

I didn’t have a child because I longed for family life. Christmas trees & kitchen renovations bore the absolute shit out of me, truth be told.

(Go you if you love these things. I wish I did sometimes…)

I didn’t actually really know why I wanted to have a child, only that I did, somewhere deep down in a place I’d rarely visit.

It didn’t make much sense, but it’s starting to.

It’s THE WILL TO GROW that sends us on some of our craziest adventures.

The adventure that starts when satisfying yourself is no longer enough.

And so here I am, finding myself pushed in all sorts of new & wonderful ways. To find my voice and speak it. To trust that what feels important to me is worth pursuing with all my heart. And to seek out & talk to all of you out there who feel something similar.

The mamas who love their kids (in whatever form they take) like CRAAAAAZZZZY, but don’t love all the stereotypes of motherhood.

Women whose wombs have never borne a child but who nurture and care and protect and advocate on a daily basis for something they deem as precious.

Women like you who have shit to say, passions to unearth, and a whole lotta love & wisdom to share with this beautiful world.

Loving you lady.

Expect to hear more xxx

Om Namo Narayani

“When sleeping women wake, mountains move” ~ Chinese proverb